Making Sure the Server Knows You Used to Work in a Restaurant Therefore You Know How It Is

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Way back in the day, before this site became a mediocre version of Gawker, the List used to be an actual List. Occasionally we take a look back into the vault. Because of lazy.

Making Sure the Server Knows You Used to Work in a Restaurant, Therefore You Know How It Is

Oh word? Thank you so much for the heads up. Let me just bring out the super secret menu that we only show to comrades who’ve been in the shit. The chef will probably be out in a second to say hi too. So glad you told me, by the way, because I was just about to dust your arugula with a fresh thatch of nose pubes. Close call.

What is this move here? You know that when you do this, especially while acting like an entitled four year old pussy who seems like she’s never been in a restaurant, never mind worked in one, that it’s the industry equivalent of saying “Some of my best friends are black, so…” then proceeding to drop some suburban grandmother eugenics lecture. It’s like punching a dude in the face but saying “It’s cool, bro, I have a face too.”  No one gives a shit. If you ever actually worked in a restaurant you’d know exactly what the server expects you to say (what you want) and how you should behave (like a reasonable adult who wants to exchange money for food). Now give me my 12% tip  rounded down and let’s just break this budding relationship off before both of us fall too deep in love.